❤ the onefivians are loved
One-Oh-Fivee ❤  41 Beloveds. ♥ Alethea ♥ Alison ♥ Anne ♥ Averyn ♥ Belle ♥ Bernadette ♥ Charlene ♥ Claire ♥ Clarissa ♥ Fathoum ♥ Grace ♥ Jacqueline ♥ Jezebel ♥ JiaJia ♥ Jiamin ♥ Joey ♥ Kai-Ning ♥ Kartina ♥ Laura ♥ Lauren ♥ Maoqi ♥ Nadiah ♥ Nerin ♥ Nicola ♥ Nicole Lee ♥ Nicole See ♥ Pearl ♥ Rachel ♥ Regina ♥ Ria ♥ Ricci ♥ Ruo Jun ♥ Sarah ♥ Sharon ♥ Sherilyn ♥ Sophia ♥ Syairah ♥ Tasha ♥ Vanessa ♥ Venus ♥ Wan Shan Kindly SHOO if you don't like anything here. The Class Commitee ❤ CHAIRPERSON - Kai-Ning VICE CHAIR 1- Nicola VICE CHAIR 2 - Alison TRESURERS - Alethea & Regina IT REPS - Charlene & Grace SPORTS REP - Ria & Fathoum EL REP - Sophia LITERATURE REP - Vanessa MATHS REP - Pearl SCIENCE REP - Nicole See D&T REP - Belle HOME EC REP - Nicole Lee ART REP - Lauren HISTORY REP - Sarah CHINESE REP - Jezebel NE REP - Averyn ENVIRONMENT REPS - Joey & Syairah CANTEEN REP - Sharon MUSIC REP - Mao Qi **More to add, tag on tag board . Important Dates ❤ Events -East Coast Beach Picnic- -Last Day of School:'(- RandomTests&CA DATES 28 Jul[Monday] 31 Jul[Thursday] [TB Pg 13~15 & 20] [****POSTPONED!****] 1st Aug[Friday] (Chinese Cindrella) [****POSTPONED!****] 4th Aug[Monday] 5th Aug[Tuesday] [pg 13~15&20] 6th Aug[Wednesday] 7th Aug[Thursday] [Chinese Cinderella] - Cl/ML-50mins Time: 1315-1415 12th Aug[Tuesday] -Time: 1245-1315 14th Aug[Thursday] -Time: 1115-1215- 15th Aug[Friday] -Time: 1215-1315- CA4 SCHEDULE:) 15th Sept[Monday] 22nd Sept[Monday] EOYs SCHEDULE:) 25th Sept[Thursday] 26th Sept[Friday] 29th Sept[Monday] 3rd Oct[Friday] 6th Oct[Monday] 7th Oct[Tuesday] 8th Oct[Wednesday] 9th Oct[Thursday] ***END OF EOYS!!*** 13th Oct[Monday] Birthdays January February March April May June July August September October November December **More to add, tag on tag board. Our Audiences ❤ Please Tag with your BIG name Music ❤ The Birthday Song - Corrinne May
Exits ❤ Tag to be linked (: ♥ Jia Min :) ♥ Alison :) ♥ Jezebel :) ♥ Nicole Lee :) ♥ Kai Ning :) ♥ Ria :) ♥ Sophia :) ♥ Tasha :) ♥ Claire :) ♥ Anne :) ♥ Venus :) ♥ 106'08 :) ♥ 206'09 :) ♥ Kimmie, 106'08 :) ♥ 104'08 :) ♥ Chermaine, 104'08 :) ♥ 103'08 :) Rewind To The Past ❤ January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 Credits ❤ Jiamin Kai-Ning |
♥'Wednesday, September 3, 2008 Hey, yeah, it's been a depressing holidays. Sorry yeah? Must post so long. Don't read if don't wanna. You know, I never really cared about scores and tests and results and what shit last time, when I say last time I mean like, before primary 5 around there? But now, and I know it's bad, I feel like, I must.. I must, it's a absolute must to be better than everybody. Everybody meaning like people of the same level as me. But if there is a person of higher status than me, but I can do something better than him or her, by all means, overtake him! Show him that I can do better, that at my age I am so great! I look at it in a logical sense, what's the use of being better? What's the use of beating Grace in English or Literature, what's the use of getting people's attention away from Claire's drawing and onto mine? (Oh, and as I mention this names, I am squirming and moaning in my seat, blood simmering) After all, we are all going to die, nobody is going to remember me, and nobody is going to remember them, So why bother? Why at all? Then again, I see them neck at neck with me, so many different people, so many different amazing talents, all just about there when it comes to me. Then I think.. There are so many different people struggling to keep up with me, aren't I just like all these amazing talents and people combined into one? Anything really, looks, hair, organisation (as in neatness..?), clothes, the place I live in. It doesn't just need to be studies, I must be best in everything, I must know more than they do. They are lower beings than me, how dare they surpass me? When it is so clear I am better? I don't get it.. Sometimes I just can't cope, cutting, is my way out. Even as I think of it, my heart beats faster and my adredaline level is skyrocketing. I don't care if people think I do it for attention because I don't care what others think. As long is it benifits me, and doesn't for you, then I'm happy. The feeling is amazing, I just want to go deeper and deeper I think 2 days ago when I was sitting down on the sofa, the 9'o clock new preview just happen to show in the middle of a sitcom. So I was text messaging Averyn, and seriously not paying attention to the TV at all. Then, suddenly.. They went (and I can still remember..!) "What's so painful to teenagers nowadays that they want to cause this to themselves?" And they flashed pictures of cut wrists, mutilated arms and thin blood dripping from wonderous wounds! That feeling of comfort, the feeling of blood rushing though my thudding heart, and my adredaline, oh, especially the adredaline.. It was wonderful.. Wonderful and horrible. To see people to these sort of things to themselves, worst still, to crave doing this to myself, I am forced to think, is it true? Do we really face a pain so great that we must let it out? No one understand you know, it's not just the pain, blood seeing the blood ooze out.. It hurts you know? I have nerves, I can feel, and it hurts. I hurts bad, I whimper when I do it, because it hurts. But when you see the blood come out, when you actually get enough for it to slide down my arm so a tiny drop forms at the bottom of my arm? Yeah.. that's what's it all for. Watching it with fasinacation, you feel the funny throbbing feeling where it hurts, and suddenly, it doesn't hurt so much more, inside. I don't want people to hurt themselves, I don't want people to suffer, I don't like that idea, but why then, do they care about me? If they do, they will suffer.. I hate seeing people suffer, even more if because it's my fault! Why don't you get it? 3 years, 3 years of getting away with it, just leave me alone! It's not like I will kill myself, no.. no, I have so many people to prove I am best to just let my life go in such a stupid way. So many people to show that I can truimph over them. To see their faces in defeat, to show them and the world that I am best, what more could I want..? When will you understand how it feels like? Running your lips, encrusted with salt from crying (I don't like crying..!), over the fresh scars. They are so supple, so soft, like the touch of an angel. The little raised gashes, up down, up down, up down, criss cross, left right, left right, left right. Then you use your whole face and touch them.. Your cheeks, your eyelids, forehead.. It's like feeling the same part of your body, with different sensations each time. The scars are warm, when I put different parts of my body they are always a different temperature because those parts of my body also vary in temperature. My favourite parts are my lips and eyelids. When you run up and down, and up and down, it sometimes is wet because of the transparent wet thing that comes out with it. I don't like that, it dilutes the blood and makes it orange. But it makes it thinner, so it can run down faster, and drips faster. Drip, drip drip. It hurts, really it does. Btw. I'm no more chairman. thanks Averyn, for keeping the penknife away. |